In a previous blog post, I posed the question whether you know how to receive. The ability to receive has been one of the greatest challenges I’ve personally faced in my own life, and I’ve found that many others have blockages with their ability to receive as well. Do you ever feel like you’re a master when it comes to receiving everything you don’t want, but that you just can’t let yourself receive all the good stuff you dream of? In this blog post, I’m going to discuss a few of the reasons why you might subconsciously block all that you want to receive.
Subconscious Reason #1 Why it’s So Hard to Receive:
“You’re so selfish!”
You are subconsciously trying to prove to someone that you are not selfish. I put this one at the top of the list, because this was my own issue. I had a family member who was a narcissistic abuser. She always told me how selfish I was. I spent my life bending over backwards for her, at every opportunity, all to show her that I wasn’t selfish. If I said I was hungry, she said I was selfish. If I said I was tired, she said I only cared about myself. And as I was codependent and didn’t know it, I believed her. I let her define me, and I believed that I had to prove to her over and over again that I did care about someone other than myself. I cared about her! And no matter what I did, I was selfish. If I earned money, I bought her expensive gifts. If I baked a cake, I gave her the biggest, prettiest piece, with all the best flowers. If there was only enough of something for one of us, I gave it to her while I went without. If I got a tax refund, I bought her a car. If I had available credit on my cards, I bought clothes and toys for her kids. If she came to visit me from out of state, I financed the trip, even when I didn’t have enough money to pay my own bills. It was all to show her that I wasn’t selfish – and even with all that, she still found a way to call me selfish anyway. That insidious belief about myself was drilled in so deep and so painfully, it created a subconscious block in my own ability to receive anything for or from myself. Anytime I found myself in the position of receiving, I felt awkward. I felt selfish if I took something for myself. It didn’t matter if I was denying someone else the joy of giving to me – I was programmed to believe that I was selfish if I were to receive something for myself – and that judgment hurt worse than anything else.
Have you ever had someone in your life, who programmed you to believe you were selfish for expressing your own needs or desires? Have you ever received something you wanted so much, only to have a loved one tell you that you were selfish for it? Did someone shame you for receiving? If so, it’s time to let that go. It’s time to take your power back from that person who took away your ability to receive. You don’t have to let that person’s idea about who you are define you any longer. It’s OK to let yourself receive. It’s OK to give to that inner child who went without, all to convince someone – someone who was never going to see the real you, anyway – that you weren’t selfish like they said you were. It’s OK to express your human needs, and it’s OK to have and express desires. Desires are Divine gifts from our own Source, and from our Soul, which give us life-giving energy to create, to express our True Selves. None of us could be here, existing as humans on Earth, if there was no expression of desire – that which creates life and moves us through our evolutionary paths.
Subconscious Reason #2 Why it’s So Hard to Receive:
“Something bad will happen to me if I receive this ______ that I want so much.”
Do you have an underlying subconscious belief that you will be punished somehow, if you let yourself receive something you need or want? This is something that goes right along with subconscious reason #1: punishment for receiving. “Something bad is going to happen to me if I receive what I want.” Where does this belief come from?
In my own case, this came from early life religious programming. It was drilled into me over and over again, that we were spared from being annihilated by God, because of God’s “undeserved kindness.” I was told over and over again how undeserving I was, simply because I’m a human being. Being too young to understand the True nature of our God/Source, I believed in that cruel god that I was programmed, from birth, to believe in. A god who would punish us, a god who only knew conditional love, a god who told us we had free will but would kill us if we questioned him or disagreed with one of his insane notions. So, on the one hand, I had a family member telling me I was selfish, and on the other hand, I had a god who would kill me for my selfishness, if he heard my family member telling me why I was so selfish! So, as you can imagine, I pushed my desires as far away from me as I possibly could. I even went so far as to physically destroy gifts given to me, when I was a teenager, so that I would not be punished because I received something I wanted, and also because I believed I did not deserve what I wanted, which is what I’ll discuss further in subconscious reason #3.
Do you have this fear, that something bad will happen to you, or that you’ll somehow be punished if you receive what you want or need? Did you have a parent who punished you for expressing your desires? Did you take a cookie you wanted, only to get spanked or slapped or sent to your room without dinner? Were you taught to fear a god who would punish you if you received something you wanted that was, somehow, ungodly? If so, it’s time to take your power back. Give something to yourself that you want. And let yourself receive it and enjoy it. Start small, and get in the habit of receiving. Each time, give yourself something more significant. Teach yourself that it’s OK to receive, and that it is safe to receive. Give to yourself, and give to others.
Subconscious Reason #3 Why it’s So Hard to Receive:
“You don’t deserve!”
Were you shamed by someone when you were a child? Shamed for something you said or did, or just for looking like your father or your mother? Did someone call your very worth into question? Me too. I believed I did not deserve… and for so many reasons. That’s a list that can go on and on, all the reason why we believe we don’t deserve. All the reasons why we believe we’re worthless or unworthy of our dreams and desires, or in my case, even our basic human needs. All the reasons why we believe we’re not enough or not good enough.
While there isn’t adequate space and time here to go into all the reasons why we believe we don’t deserve or aren’t worthy or aren’t enough, suffice to say, it almost certainly began when you were a very young child. For example, I gained weight as an adult and believed I didn’t deserve to eat. But that was not a belief that I picked up as an adult. That was a belief that was ingrained in me as a child, who watched her mother starving herself when she gained weight, because she’d watched her mother starve herself when she gained weight, who watched her mother starve herself when she gained weight… all because of a very ignorant and ill informed belief that still permeates society today, about overweight people being lazy overeaters who don’t deserve equal pay for equal work, or that all a person needs to do is eat less and exercise more, which couldn’t be further from the truth. So, even though I was a thin kid, I started starving myself at 13 years old because I was putting on some weight as girls do when they’re about to hit puberty, and I thought I didn’t deserve to eat. That messed up my metabolism and hormones for the next three decades, as I continued to starve myself right into my 40’s – something I’m recovering from even at this moment. And, having a desire for a slender and healthy body, of course, I could not receive that, because 1. I was selfish, 2. I’d be punished, and 3. I didn’t deserve what I wanted and needed. See how our subconscious beliefs come up and keep us blocked from what we want to receive? This is just one example of how the subconscious belief that we don’t deserve is so detrimental to our well being as well as our ability to receive.
Do you feel you deserve what you want and need? Be completely honest with yourself on this, because a lot of times, we are not aware of our subconscious belief that we don’t deserve to receive something. If you know you deserve and that you’re worthy and that you’re enough, then thank you. Thank you for being you, for being here in this world, because we need you. If you don’t know that you deserve – if you think you don’t deserve, or that you’re not worthy or enough – then you’ve got some work to do to come to the realization of the Divine manifestation of God/Source that you really and truly are. And learning that you deserve, while it can be hard work – it’s also joyful, rewarding, and fulfilling work. It’s worth it. And so are you.
Subconscious Reason #4 Why it’s So Hard to Receive:
“This comes with strings attached.”
Uh oh. Someone’s giving me something I want soooo badly to receive… but I just know this comes with strings and conditional police! Ever feel that way about receiving something from somebody? Sometimes this is healthy discernment, and saying no to the gift is warranted. But if you feel like this every time you are put into a position to receive something from somebody, then you’ve got a subconscious fear about receiving.
For example, you’re up for a promotion at work. You really want to receive this promotion. You know you deserve it. You know you’ve worked for it. But you get passed over. Someone else receives your promotion instead. What happened there? Examine how you feel about having been passed over. Do you feel relieved? Is it because you think that something would have been expected from you in return, that you didn’t want to give?
Where does this fear of strings attached come from? Again, look back to your childhood. Did you have an experience where your parents or other family members gave you something, but only if you did something or gave something in return, that you didn’t want to do or give? Did you have to give your power away to doing something you didn’t want to do, in return for having something you wanted? Were your birthday and Christmas presents conditional? Did your parents’ love for you and approval of you come with strings attached? Did you have a single, seemingly trivial experience, which shaped your outlook on receiving for the rest of your life till now?
When I was six years old, my father gave me a $10 bill. The first one (the only one!) he ever gave me. I felt so thrilled and grown-up and responsible to have that ten dollar bill! But then he told me, “you have to decide if you want to keep this, or if you want to give it back to me. If you give it back to me, then you’ll have another gift tomorrow.” He knew I wanted a bike. And I knew he was talking about a bike, even though he was trying to keep it secret. But the bike had to have a condition attached to it. I had to give the $10 bill back to my father if I was to have the bike. My six year old brain perceived this as a traumatic separation and a condition that I learned to associate with everything that was ever given to me from then on. In all my years in the corporate, secular job world, despite having glowing reviews, I was never once promoted. I became an underachieving overachiever for trying to figure out how to receive what I wanted without wanting to want or receive. Did you get that?
Did your parents’ love come with conditions? Do you want to receive the relationship of your dreams with your soul mate, but you find yourself pushing people away because you feel so afraid of the conditions that come with human, egoic love? How do you get past this? By learning to give to yourself without any conditions. By learning to love yourself without any conditions.
So these are just four of the many subconscious beliefs we might have that make it so hard for us to receive what we want in life. It’s important that we get past these beliefs. It’s vital that we learn to receive with grace and ease. As the ascension process unfolds, we are opening ourselves to embody more of our Soul. We are to receive our own Soul, more and more fully – and if we can’t even let ourselves receive a simple gift given to us by someone with love, how can we receive our own Soul and move through these higher frequencies and dimensions? We’ve got to get past these egoic concepts of selflessness and start to receive and accept Love from all whom it comes from. It is the fabric of existence. Gifts are an expression of love and appreciation. Accept and receive the gift, and in so doing, realize that you are the gift. Keep the energy circulating, don’t block your ability to receive. As you block your ability to receive, you block your ability to give. It really is that simple. Receive with gratitude and give back in the spirit of Love and appreciation. Give up those old subconscious beliefs about receiving. You really don’t need to give your power away to them anymore.