To forgive is actually the prime lesson we are here to learn. We think we know and understand what it is to forgive, but is that really true? What does it really mean to forgive? How do we actually forgive, and why?
Our souls interact with each other beyond our perception of physical life. Life as we know it is actually lived for the soul’s purpose of expansion, growth and evolution, which happens through the lessons we learn in life. Without challenges, our souls would not learn the lessons that are necessary for our evolution. Our very souls would stagnate.
When we shed our physical bodies, we also shed a layer of ego that is associated with the identities we think we are while we’re here. Beyond the ego, the expansive soul is a much higher love than we tend to realize while we inhabit these bodies. And once again, we come across the souls who contracted with us for our lessons in life… and we remember that all was really done in Love – for the evolution of our souls.
The Agreements Between Souls Teach Us How to Forgive
What seems to us to be such transgressions against us in physical life all melts away, leaving our souls elated to have had the experiences, to have had the chance to learn the lessons that previously kept us trapped in reliving similar experiences in order to evolve. It takes the willingness of other souls to agree to join us in life to appear to commit atrocities against us. It takes a level of Love beyond our imagination for these lesson agreements to be made, for when we and other souls agree to commit a sin against another – even for the sake of evolution – we also agree to take on the Karma for it. Without these agreements, our souls would remain in the birth and death cycle for eternity. But because these agreements are made at the soul level, and made in Love, we give each other the chance to learn important lessons for the growth of the soul, so as to awaken and evolve.
Consciously we do not remember the agreements our souls make with one another in Love. But when we finish with these physical bodies and shed the lower ego, we remember once again. Forgiveness while residing in these bodies is the key component to learning the lessons our souls came here to learn.
To forgive in physical form is not easy, without the conscious memory of the pact made between souls. However, if we can choose to remember that all we go through, all we put ourselves through is all for the evolution of the soul, and that it takes a level of Love beyond what we realize for another soul to fulfill its agreement with us in such a way that feels painful. If we can step out of our ego-identity and observe life instead from the perspective of the soul, we can find it much easier to forgive.
To forgive, realize the lesson of the soul, and no matter what experience you have, simply say “Thank you for this experience,” take the lesson without resistance, and realize that you’ve just taken countless millennia off your soul’s journey and evolved faster than the speed of light. To forgive, understand that we’re here to remember that in Reality there isn’t really anything to forgive.
How to Forgive in the Physical Plane
However, before you may be able to get to this point, it’s important to allow the feelings of the inner self – the lower self – where all the anger, hurt, sadness, grief, and trauma are held, which is the part of us that makes forgiving so very difficult in this life. Sometimes, though we may be choosing to forgive from the perspective of the soul or the higher self, there is an inner child who must first be acknowledged – and it is this inner child who ultimately must give the permission to forgive.
We cannot give what we do not have. While we may forgive, thinking we can forgive because God forgives us, we don’t realize that there’s someone else’s forgiveness we need in order to be able to forgive. And that is our own. Allow me to explain by using an example.
“Jessie” was the oldest child of four born to an abusive father and a chronically ill mother. Her parents had all four children in very close succession. “Jessie” was only a year old when she had a new sister, and she was not yet even six years old by the time she had three siblings. She began to be neglected by her mother, who was also oblivious to the father’s abuse. Because children don’t know the difference between feeling bad and being bad, “Jessie” began to believe that she was a bad girl, and that’s why her father hurt her, and why her mother ignored her. “Jessie” couldn’t process the reality of what was happening to her in her undeveloped child’s brain, and all the emotions were very overwhelming, and impossible for her to understand. So she repressed the feelings, along with the memories – stored them away, hidden from herself. Ideally, these memories and feelings should be brought up later in life, after the brain has developed, and the actions and feelings can be processed. But this doesn’t always happen. So “Jessie” grows up, swallowing her rage, hiding it from herself, and automatically, unconsciously resisting all that reminds her of it. She judges herself as weak, harbors victim mentality, unconsciously hates herself and feels worthless, and is extremely introverted, unable to function in group settings. She overachieves in all she does, in order to get her mother’s attention, and her siblings resent the way she always outshines them, so they tend to gang up against her on a regular basis, because they too, are competing for their mother’s attention.
Later in life, “Jessie” finds herself unable to cope in friendships, in love relationships, in her career, and ultimately she ends up losing everything, including her health. She’s at a crisis point, and she doesn’t understand why her life is so hard. Eventually she comes to the realization that she has bottled up rage, and with a lot of self-examination, she finally comes to remember why she’s so angry. She decides to forgive her parents. But that makes everything worse. Why?
Because “Jessie” hadn’t taken the time to address her inner child and acknowledge and feel the emotions that had been stored away and repressed for all those years. “Jessie” had not yet grieved over the parents she wanted and couldn’t have, nor for her lost childhood and innocence. “Jessie” had not yet realized that she, as the inner child, felt betrayed by her own self, having had self-hatred and disgust – the inner child felt abandoned and hated. “Jessie” had not yet made peace with her true inner child self. This is the actual forgiveness that she needs first. What “Jessie” needs is to feel the pain that was denied while it couldn’t be understood, to grieve as the child and with the child, to forgive herself for her own self-judgement, and to forgive the part of her that believed herself to be a victim, even after the abuse stopped. She needs to let herself feel the anger with her parents for how she was hurt, and go through all the stages of grief. Only after this process is complete, can “Jessie” then allow the forgiveness, which comes automatically after the self-forgiveness happens. Before we can forgive, going forward, we must have forgiveness, and it is we ourselves who give us that very forgiveness that we can then give to others for their actions against us.
So, how to forgive? Acknowledge the feelings and emotions, and feel them. Dig in and understand why you are triggered, and go through the grieving process until you are no longer triggered if and when someone says or does something hurtful against you again. Forgive the part of yourself that you judged as weak, and forgive the part of yourself that did the judging. Remember that forgiveness is not about excusing someone or making what they did okay, because it’s not okay. Forgiveness is about integrating your lower self with your higher self, being a whole and complete person, and ultimately recognizing that we are all the same One. What we do against another we do against ourselves; what we do against ourselves, we do against all. On the other hand, fully love and accept yourself – the weak with the strong, the sad and angry with the joyful, the hateful with the loving, the crazy with the sane – and you automatically forgive all others.
Sometimes We Can Use a Little Extra Help to Forgive
Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it’s difficult to remember to step out of the ego for a moment and observe from the soul’s perspective. We can all use a little extra help with this from time to time. I recommend a product called “The Gift,” which helps us to get “out of our head” and “into our Heart.” Taken in the moment of discomfort and anger, it really helps a lot, because it helps us to remember who we are beyond the physical body and ego identity.
I also recommend meridian tapping, as it helps to clear energy blockages instantly, in the very moment of pain – it helps to remove the pain from all of our energy bodies – not just the physical body – so that in the moment when we feel attacked by another in some way, we can process and integrate it right here and now. This is important to us, because when we don’t process injury in the moment that it occurs, the thought program associated with the injury sticks around in our meridians, cells, organs, and energy bodies, gets denser, and grows like a snowball rolling down a mountain, until it begins to manifest bigger and more intense troubles – including physical dis-ease, addictions, and injury.
Meditation is also another way in which we can step out of the pain and go directly to our hearts and literally become our True Self – as the observer of our thoughts. I was given a very beautiful and wonderful meditation and energy clearing session by Yeshua one day, which I’ve recorded and made available to you. It’s called “The Space Between Guided Meditation Audio and Sword of Truth Clearing Session.” It is a real energy clearing session – please pay attention to the instructions. It’s not as quick as “The Gift” or meridian tapping – but it packs a serious punch! I recommend it in conjunction with “The Gift” and meridian tapping.
Beyond the soul level, we really are all the same One, just dreaming our self to be many. When we realize that there isn’t really anything to forgive, we complete the ultimate forgiveness: the realization that Love Is. Love is ALL that is – and we are that Love.