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When it comes to creating your life as you want it to be, whether you’re looking to improve your health, relationships, or finances, or anything else, one thing we must understand is why it is so important to forgive.

Forgiveness is the literal act of “letting go.”  And it is what we hold on to, not only on the conscious level, but also – and especially – our subconscious level, that is creating and seeming to attract the people and circumstances to us that become our reality.

We hold on to our emotions, right down to the cellular and subatomic levels within and surrounding our DNA.  Mostly, we are not even consciously aware of what we are holding on to, that could be keeping us from improving various aspects of our lives.

By using energy testing methods, such as Applied Kinesiology, we can tap into our subconscious minds, and learn exactly what programs we are holding on to.

For example, you may have a program running in your subconscious that believes that it’s not safe for you to be slim; therefore, no matter what you do in the way of diet and exercise to lose weight, you always find it difficult, and you gain back the weight quickly.  You might be scratching your head right about now, asking what in the world this has to do with forgiveness?  Stay with me now – keep reading.  This is because the subconscious mind is still holding on to this belief, for whatever reason – be it an early childhood trauma, a genetic program passed down from a parent, grandparent, or other ancestor, or even brought with us from another place or time.  It is therefore essential for us to communicate with our subconscious minds to find out what strange beliefs may be there, creating our lives for us, against our conscious intent and desires.  Oftentimes, the inability to release excess weight from our bodies happens because we’re holding onto old anger and resentment that we have not properly forgiven and let go.  Holding onto anger literally blocks us from letting Love into our life experience.  Love comes in many forms – gratitude, friendship, romance, appreciation, vitamin absorption – just to name a few – and anytime we refuse to forgive and hold onto anger instead, we block ourselves from letting one or more manifestations of Love in.


If you are holding on to fear, anger, sadness, or doubt, even though you may not even be consciously aware that it’s there underneath your thoughts and dreams, your subconscious mind will continually work overtime to keep you safe.  This means that you will have a more difficult time in creating the life you really want.

The subconscious mind is obedient to The Law of Attraction – or more accurately – it simply projects its beliefs and the Universe then forms reality to reflect those beliefs back to us – and the subconscious mind is also infinitely more powerful than our conscious mind – the seat of our willpower.  What this means is that when the subconscious mind is projecting beliefs and programs of fear, doubt, anger, frustration, and sadness, it is literally telling the Universe to reflect back more of that which will cause you to feel these emotions.  Why?  Because this is what the subconscious mind perceives as safety, because that is what it knows.  Your subconscious mind doesn’t care about your comfort; it is there to keep you safe, and in the “familiar.”

This is why forgiveness is so powerful and essential in changing our lives. Forgiveness is the act of being aware of, acknowledging, and literally letting go of the programs and beliefs that keep us from living our lives as we want them to be.  Consciously forgiving ourselves and others in admitting to ourselves that any one of us can only perceive the tiniest fraction of anything that ever really happens at any given time, and recognizing that it is our own unconscious beliefs, programs and patterns that reflect back to us all people, events and circumstances, and vice versa, is a big step in the process of letting go. The next step is to communicate with your subconscious to learn what’s going on there in the deeper levels.

There are two crucial ways in which we learn forgiveness:

1.  Forgiveness of past wrongs.  Sometimes we cannot forgive the person(s) involved.  Sometimes we don’t even remember what happened, particularly if it was violent or otherwise traumatic.  Oftentimes, something happened in our very early lifetime, when we were too young to understand and process what happened – so we “put it away” so to speak – we repress – bury it into our deep unconscious mind – where it then becomes an errant program, a filter of life, complete with expectations of how future events will unfold, thus dooming us to keep repeating the thoughts, words, actions, and behaviors that we continue to act out so as to keep us in the familiar, and right about what we believe to be the truth about the way the world works.  In cases like this, it is not advisable to attempt to forgive any wrongdoers without doing deep work within ourselves, because we are not the ones who can forgive the past – but rather, it is our “inner child” or the version of us that was traumatized and repressed or suppressed, that must do the forgiving.  We cannot forgive without the explicit permission of that part of us who was denied at the time of the trauma.  Forgiveness must then become not about others – but about forgiving the part of ourselves who hate the weak, victimized self that was so hurt.  Forgiveness literally becomes self-acceptance, self-compassion, and the truest self-love.  Only once this occurs can forgiveness for the ones who hurt us be attained, because the inner child, or the version of us that was traumatized, who lives in/as the subconscious mind, will not forgive anybody until you can be trusted not to betray him/her with self-hatred, shame and disgust.  (Yes, we are all of two – or more – minds, all the time!)  We all have an inner-child version of us, and it’s in our best interests to get to know that one intimately.  Talk with him/her.  Comfort him/her as you would your own child.  Embrace that one.  Nurture and love that one.  The letting go that comes from Love happens organically, without having to force any kind of false forgiveness of anyone else for anything.  Make peace with your self.  Take all the time it takes to do it, even the rest of your life.  It’s that important.

2.  Forgiveness of future wrongs.  It’s important to learn how to practice forgiveness – not after the fact – but beforehand.  Rather than perceiving errors and transgressions against us – which makes them real to us, and then forgiving them, instead, simply forgive as if nothing had ever actually occurred.  Forgiving in this way reminds us that none of us ever really knows the whole story, but rather only a tiny skeleton version of reality.  It teaches us true humility and helps to keep us from taking on new subconscious programs and trapped emotions.  This is the forgiveness of looking forward, which we can easily allow once we have made peace with the inner child versions of ourselves, once self-forgiveness has taken place.

Forgiveness, as the act of letting go, is truly one of the most powerful things we can do to change our lives.  Examining and letting go of what does not serve us makes the way possible for the people, things, and circumstances that share and enhance our inherent joy.

The REAL Secret
How to Forgive