Not so long ago, I realized that I didn’t feel much excitement for my life. I had recovered from the suicidal depression I went through, but even though I’d processed the grief following all my losses and a life full of trauma and abuse, I still found myself lacking enthusiasm and feeling less than excited about each day. And once in a while, I’d get a glimpse of excitement over something, but then it would fade away, as I struggled to recall what excitement even felt like. Do you also wish to feel excitement for life? Maybe you can relate. Maybe you recall feeling excited to wake up and live another day, back when you were a child and everything was magical, even if life wasn’t so great. I recall that, despite the abuse, I never wanted to go to bed at night. I wanted to stay up and see everything there was to see. Life was magical for me, as a child, despite the things that went on at home. The world around me was full of wonder and beauty, and no amount parental rage or violence could take that away. That only happened as I got older.
Where Does the Excitement Go? Why We Stop Feeling Excitement for Our Lives
Scientifically, there is a big difference between how our brains operate as children, and how they work once we become adults. Mostly, this has to do with our brain wave patterns. In childhood, our brains operate in theta brainwaves, from the age of about 2 years old, until we’re about 5 or 6 years old, when our brain wave frequencies increase to alpha, which lasts until we’re about 8 years old. After that, our brain wave frequencies increase into the beta ranges, which is what makes our external realities feel so real to us, whereas, when we were children, our slower brain frequencies made our internal realities – our magical imaginations – our truer reality. When we’re children, we create in our imaginations. We go outside to play in a back yard, but it’s not a back yard… it’s a magical, enchanted forest, with faeries and elves and dragons, and we are the queens and kings of the realm. When we are children, we feel excitement over the littlest things. The whole world is filled with wonder. We know how to play, even those of us who had to grow up much faster than children ever should. But once our brains develop past a certain age, typically around 8 years old, when they move into the beta bandwidths, the shadow world of outer physical reality – the reflection of our imagination – becomes more real to us than the real world, which is our imagination. What we imagine gets dismissed as, “oh that’s just your imagination,” as we’re taught that the false reality that our beta brainwaves make to feel so real is the true and actual reality, when indeed, it is not. It is only the reflection of what we create inside.
At this point, life starts feeling less magical. It’s solidified into some confusing mass of programming and laws that make no sense, that suddenly we have to start living by. The notion that money is worth more than human life or health. The concept of having to pay to live on the planet we’re born on. We look around at nature and find none of these insane ideas, but yet, here we are as humans, going through motions we’ve never questioned, all the while, deep down, feeling something is not quite right with all this, our collective amnesia and beta brainwaves and societal programming keeping us blind to the true reality and living in fear of consequences to rules and laws we never actually consciously agreed to.
Add to that, all the traumas we go through. It is possible, and I know because I’ve been there, to get so broken hearted over so many abuses and losses and traumas, that we lose our desire to live and our will to move. How are we ever supposed to feel excitement over living, ever again? How is it even possible?
5 Tips to Help You Feel Excitement for Your Life Again
1 – Learn to trust your imagination again.
When you were a child, you trusted what your imagination showed you. Even if your parents dismissed it and told you it was “just your imagination,” you still knew what you knew, didn’t you. That’s because your brain hadn’t yet developed the ability to transmit beta waves, and your inner world was still more real to you than the outer reflection that we mistakenly call “reality” when we get older. You had to be told many times that what you imagined wasn’t real, before you began to believe that it wasn’t real – and there were some experiences that you had, that, to this day, you are certain were real, weren’t there? I know that was the case for me. Tap into the part of you that still knows that what you experienced through your intuition and imagination was actually real. Your imagination is your greatest asset in this life – not something to be dismissed as silly fantasy. It is the creative engine you possess to create your reality. It all starts in your mind. It’s been abused and used to create a lot of what you don’t want, and that makes it really difficult to feel excitement for life, when your imagination is used to create more and more of the same old stuff that buries you underneath unwanted illusions, perceived as an uncontrolled outer reality that you fall victim to. Spend time in your imagination creating the life that you do feel excitement for, and believe, with all your heart, in the power of your own imagination.
Another benefit to turning inward to your own imagination is that you withdraw your attention from the outer world when you do so. The reason why this is so beneficial is because, when utilized properly (as opposed to abusing your imagination by envisioning stressful and worrisome scenarios), your withdrawal of attention from the stressful outer world de-energizes the physical reality you experience. Energy goes where your focus goes. So when you start focusing on your inner reality – your imagination – you literally start giving it energy. When given enough energy, and powered up with Heart energy (feeling – Love, gratitude), you literally instruct the outer world (the reflective reality) to reflect your inner reality back to you. This also has a lot of physiological benefits, as focus on your unwanted outer reality easily triggers the chronic activation of your sympathetic nervous system into fight/flight/freeze mode, where you can’t access your feelings of happy excitement for life, whereas focusing on your inner world (again, imagination used properly) activates your parasympathetic nervous system, which helps your body to enter into relaxation, repairing, healing, intuitive and creative mode, where you can easily access your feelings of genuine excitement and gratitude for life, as well as the desires that you can’t connect with while you’re in chronic physiological stress. Think about that. It feels unsafe to entertain and nurture desires when your body-mind is chronically in fight/flight/freeze mode. It’s hard to fathom anything beyond simple survival when this is the case. Desire? Forget about it. And since desire is where excitement for life actually comes from – desire being our engine of creativity – when you can’t get past basic survival, it’s really difficult to summon excitement for life.
2 – Meditate, utilizing theta brainwave brain entrainment audios.
This is one of the quickest ways to reconnect with the frequencies we embodied as children. Think of something that you want, that you have had difficulty believing you could actually have. Start with something small, but that you really desire. Then go into meditation, utilizing theta brainwave brain entrainment audio, and ask yourself, “what would it be like to have this desire fulfilled?” Imagine how you would feel. Imagine a conversation with someone, at which time your desire has been fulfilled. What would this person say to you, once this desire was fulfilled? Would someone congratulate you? Would someone ask how you got it? Just imagine that your desire is fulfilled, imagine a conversation with someone as if you’re having it after your desire was fulfilled, and feel gratitude for having this desire fulfilled. Feel the excitement about it. Don’t stop until you feel the reality of it within you – just like a dream you have at night that feels so real, you wake up wondering if that happened in your outer reality, or if it was a dream. Repeat the process as many times as it takes for you to feel the reality of it within you. Spend time every single day in the garden of your imagination. Every morning when you wake up, set your intent for the role you want to play in your new world, and utilize the theta brainwave entrainment audios (with headset, for binaural beats brainwave entrainment), to train your brain and body in what it feels like to live as that new you that you have intended to be, feeling excitement for this new role you play. No matter what your outer reality looks like or what your circumstances are, be this new you that you have intended. Your brain and body do not know the difference between what you imagine to be real and what the outer world is showing you. You get to choose which reality to believe in and empower. Meditation helps you to embody the version of yourself you want to be, just like an actor becomes a different character for a new movie.
This is not to get you dependent upon the outer world and consumerism in order to feel excitement about getting something, but rather, it is to help you to be reminded of how it feels to know, absolutely, that what you want is on its way. Don’t go out and buy something, but rather, go online and order something to be delivered to you. Get into the energy of anticipation, knowing that what you ordered is coming to you. It doesn’t have to be something big or expensive. Just something you really want, so that you can experience the feeling of placing your order, and knowing that it’s coming. Do this when you need to remind yourself what it feels like to feel excitement over knowing that something you want is on its way to you.
4 – Support Your Physical Body.
Just as your mind affects your body, your body affects your mind. Your physical body needs support as you work on changing your mind. Your body also needs time to catch up to the changes you make in your mind. This was one of the most difficult lessons I learned as I recovered from suicidal depression and CPTSD. I thought that I could “positive-think” my way into happiness, health, joie de vivre and excitement for life. In fact, part of the reason why I ended up in such a state as I did was exactly because I had failed to properly support my physical body. The importance of this cannot be overstated. I developed an eating disorder due to starving myself over many years. The eating disorder was orthorexia. I was completely obsessed with restricting macros and food groups, fasting, clean-eating, paleo, VLC (very low carb), drinking a gallon plus of water per day, you name it… if it was anything having to do with “healthy eating,” I was all over it. And it didn’t end up to be anything healthy at all. It paralyzed me, and when I went through severe traumas, my body didn’t have the resources it needed to cope with the external losses that I went through. I wasn’t getting enough sleep. My blood sugar was all over the place from chronic starvation. My body was in chronic fight/flight/freeze due to starvation as well, just surging with nonstop secretions of adrenaline and cortisol, even as I slept, when I did sleep. My liver function was spotty and stagnant, due to my starving my body, which meant that my liver couldn’t do its job, and proper methylation and detoxification couldn’t happen. Not only did this lead to storing up excess fat in my body – yes, even while starving myself – but it also led to chemical sensitivities, cellular hypothyroidism, rapid weight gain and fluid retention (138 pounds in a year, once I started eating for recovery!), which led to my feeling traumatized just to look in the mirror, due to all the self judgment I still held onto, while my body fought just to survive. It’s pretty hard to find your excitement for life when this happens to you, so don’t let it, if you can help it. Support your body!
- Eat. Don’t obsess about restricting this or that. Take the judgment away, and just eat. Eat as healthy as you can. Organic foods are our friends. Processed foods, not so much. But eat whole foods, with love and gratitude. Remember that blessing your food before you eat it is also beneficial.
- Love your body and thank your body, no matter how its reflection looks. Your body is working to keep you alive. Be proud of your body. Love your body. Give thanks for the job it’s doing. Tell your body every day that you love it and that you’re thankful for it. Let the judgment go. Just love your body.
- Drink the right amount of water for you. There’s a lot of hype out there – and I used to buy into it too – that you need to drink 8-10 glasses of water a day, or half your body’s weight in ounces, each day, and for some people that’s great. For others of us, it does more harm than good. When your body is in severe and chronic fight or flight/survival mode, and severely metabolically distressed, as mine was, too much water can make your physical health problems even worse. If you’re not sure how much water you should drink, that’s OK. First, look around at nature. Watch the animals. They trust their instincts and intuition. They trust their bodies. They don’t go around from puddle to puddle with their little 8 ounce glasses, filling them up and counting them, nor do they get on scales, weigh themselves, say “oh I weigh 2 pounds, that means I need 1 ounce of water today.” And neither do you need to obsess with that kind of nonsense. Your body will tell you how much water to drink. Drink when you are thirsty and then note the color of your urine. Your urine should be pale yellow. It should not be clear; if your urine is clear, you’re drinking too much water and likely experiencing some metabolic distress, even if you are not aware of it. If your urine is dark yellow, then drink more water. Keep in mind also that if you are supplementing with B vitamins, that can turn your urine a darker yellow than it would normally be. So go by thirst, and learn to trust your body to let you know when you need some water.
- Try SAMe if you are depressed. As I mentioned, I was suicidally depressed. There was desire expressed by doctors to put me on antidepressants, but I wouldn’t hear of it. My refusal frustrated them, but… oh well. I understood that medications would further burden my liver, when my liver needed help. I realized that my liver wasn’t methylating properly, that the phase II detox pathway was sluggish, and that was exacerbating my depression as well as the allergy and chemical sensitivity issues I was experiencing. So I decided that, instead of medications, I would instead support my liver with the specific nutrients it needed for its phase II detoxification (methylation) process. Realizing that SAMe can also cause or exacerbate anxiety when not supplemented with B vitamins, and that it can cause homocysteine levels (chronic inflammation) to go up without sufficient B vitamins, I made sure to include methylated B vitamins in my recovery, along with the SAMe, and anti-inflammatory amino acids found in healing foods such as bone broths and gelatins, like glycine and proline. I do absolutely recommend nutritional supplements when you know which ones you need to help support your body – but get assistance with this, because taking the wrong ones can do more harm than good. Food first, and then supplement as needed. I will tell you that, without a doubt, within days after I began my SAMe and B vitamin supplementation, my suicidal depression began to fade. I began to see the difference between the life sucking depression and the grief I had yet to finish processing – but the suicidal thoughts were gone, and I started to feel glimpses of excitement for my life again – not just hope – but real, genuine, happy excitement. This was in conjunction with psychotherapy as well, as I was seeing a hypnotherapist as well as an EMDR therapist. Both of those modalities helped tremendously as well, and much more quickly after I began supporting my body properly with the nutritional supplementation – the SAMe, B vitamins, and collagens, especially.
- Sleep! This is so important. When you sleep your body has a chance to repair. Your brain goes into the deep delta brainwaves, your parasympathetic nervous system has a chance to activate and do its job without your mind there, getting in the way, and if you go to bed, ideally by 10PM in whatever time zone you’re in, those hours between 10PM and 2AM are reserved for your body’s repair and rejuvenation. The next four hours, between approximately 2AM and 6AM are for your mind, and this is when most of our dreaming takes place, as our brainwaves come back up from delta, into theta and alpha again, while we move through our REM cycles. Without sufficient sleep – and not just sufficient sleep, but also appropriately timed with our diurnal and circadian rhythms – it is very difficult to muster up sufficient energy to start up that engine of desire and create something we want to feel excitement for. Think of sleep as an act of self love. A gift for your body and mind. And give this gift to yourself each and every night, with love and gratitude.
5 – Get a coach.
You can do it alone, but I don’t recommend it. Find a coach that you resonate with – one that understands what your goal is and can hold the space for you and assist and guide you through the process of loving yourself and feeling excitement for your life again. There are plenty of us here – someone for everyone. Decide what it is that you want, and then seek out the coach that you feel is going to be the best guide for you. If you want a coach who can see you, hear you, listen to you, help you to see your shadows, work through them and integrate, and learn to cultivate self compassion and love while moving through the ascension process, then reach out to me. I’d love to hear from you. If not me, then someone else who you resonate with.